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instead.
Try to understand that the exiting cult member has had an extremely
traumatic experience. He might not be ready for religion in any form for
a long time. It's very similar to a person who has been through a
traumatic divorce. The person might not want to date or remarry for a
long time after the divorce, and it is the same in most cases with the
ex-cult member and religion.
- DO get professional help for the ex-Scientologist, if
possible with a counselor who has had some experience with former cult
members and their special problems. Try to locate other
ex-Scientologists in your area who can spend some time with your family
member. Like any person who has gone through a painful experience, the
ex-Scientologist may have a compulsive need to talk about the cult
experience with someone outside the family.
- DON'T feel excessive guilt or shame about your family
member's experience with the cult; these feelings only hinder effective
action and are non-productive.
- DO find a support group of other families in your area
who have had experiences similar to yours. The two organizations listed
at the end of this chapter are the best resources available at this time
to help you locate this support. There is no reason for you to feel
alone. Thousands of families of all religious, economic and family
backgrounds have been through what you are going through now.
- DON'T neglect your own needs or those of other family
members. Even though you have a family member in Scientology, life must
go on. Let the other children in the family know that even though you
are concerned for the family member in Scientology, they are just as
important to you.
- DO file written complaints with all the public officials
you can find. In any way you can, take action against the cult. If you
are aggressive against Scientology, they may decide it's not worth it to
them, and they may send your family member home, hoping that will cause
you to cease your actions against them. There is some disagreement with
this, as your actions against Scientology may also alienate your family
member who is in the cult. The best advice might be to check out
anything you plan to do with someone else who knows Scientology.
Certainly don't do anything rash or illegal.
- DON'T ever give up. You never know when your family
member might come home. In my case it was after twelve long years that I
arrived home with no warning. You must remember that no matter how
strong or effective the mind control of the cult, it can never
completely erase the years of love, nurturing, heredity, training and
home environment the person had before Scientology. There is always
hope.
For further information and referrals, feel free to contact
- Cult Awareness Network
2421 W. Pratt Blvd. Suite #1173
Chicago, Illinois 60645 (312) 267-7777
[WARNING!: The Cult
Awareness Network was taken over by Scientology in a bankruptcy auction
in October, 1996. Do not contact them for help with cults!
-- Editor]
- The American Family Foundation
P.O. Box 2265
Bonita
Springs, Florida 33959 (212)249-7693
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